Guys + Marriage

Hi Folks, how was your weekend? thanks for your honesty, comments, RT’s and likes on my last article post “60 years time”.

Today’s post is gonna be like my regular posts,a few weeks ago, i did an article on Single ladies+Marriage, this is the guy’s version, and i will be telling you my own view and opinion, like i always say its okay if you agree or dont agree with me.

For us,  as guys or should i say for me as a guy, i definitely wanna get married, i mean who doesn’t, well some people don’t want to but i do, i know a couple of guys who want to just have kids, live with them and their mums outside, they just don’t want woman-palaver.

In as much as i feel their pains, i still dont think its right for you to raise a kid in an environment where there isn’t mother figure or vice versa, i can understand some of us are from broken homes but should we put our own children through that stress again? No

I feel we can all agree on that one.

For me, my greatest fear in marriage is marrying the wrong person, shikena! i don’t care if am rich or not, marrying the wrong person will not only screw up your life but will also fuck up everything in its path which may include, your family, most of the things you cherish, its that ruthless. Someone once told me there is no marrying the right or wrong person, it’s all about making a decision and staying through to it.

Like all guys, i want a really beautiful woman, someone who melts my heart by just looking at her,someone who is nice, good with people and loves my family and let’s not forget interesting and maybe put spontaneous in that same mix, ethnicity…..ermmmmmm……i love igbo girls already, yoruba girls have my pass mark, body…….ermmmmmm….this is very tricky, in as much as i’m #teambigbooty and #teambigboobs, i dont want to marry a cossy orjiakor as a wife neither do i want to marry a woman whose ass increases her height when she sits down…i want more like a Caroline Ekanem Edem…:D , you know that girl right??????? smashing abi!!!!!!!!

One fatal flaw of you ladies is nagging….OMG, i haven’t seen a man who can stand nagging, and nagging comes in different categories and flavors, ladies please try not to in as much as its the only option you have.

This is my own wishlist of a wife, yours will be definitely different because our tastes are distinctive, one man’s awwwwww is another man’s ewwwwwww. (**stole that somewhere 🙂 **)  For me, I believe most guys get married because they are bored….believe it or not…… For each and everyone of us, we all have targets and milestones we set for ourselves, if i achieve this, i will do this, if i achieve that, i will  do that, its different for different folks. As guys we make a lot of mistakes, I know friends who marry because of pity, because they’re bored, because they impregnated that girl and many more excuses like that

I know some of us will always say if she isn’t pregnant for me, we can’t get married, I also share your pain. One of my friend’s believes in this philosophy due to the experiences he has had with the opposite sex, that pregnancy is a criteria for marriage, he feels he cannot begin to fast and pray about what the girl has done before marrying him, so impregnating her will be an evidence of her been fruitful, while i also have another friend whose philosophy is that if someone he really loves doesn’t get pregnant for him, he may never marry. Well that sounded like a playboy statement.

 

One thing women don’t get about single men and why they don’t want to marry is that we’re enjoying our single life unlike some ladies who can’t wait to be Mrs Somebody due to societal pressure or age. We will always be Mr. Somebody, either we’re married or not, Life as a single guy is always great, you can keep late nights, shagging as many girls as you like, be reckless, get drunk, generally do as it comes to you but the saddle of a married man is way more complex. it’s like being a Pastor, you got to be watchful of what you do and where you do it, guys love freedom, no more no less, freedom, ability to do something whenever, wherever.

As i said earlier on, marrying the wrong person could ruin your life, i have heard of cases where the husband leaves the house before 5am in the morning and gets home by 11pm, its not his work that takes his time, its just that he cannot afford to be home with his wife that long without loosing his mind, its terrible, and the worst part is that these people paint to the world the perfect couple.

If you know your guy has an hobby, support him, be interested in his hobbies, and in as much as you’re looking for an husband, the church isnt where you should look because its full of people who hide who they truly are. Until they’re married remember the case of the girl got killed by her husband , they hooked up in church o!  Tread carefully, there are wolves in sheep’s clothing.

Getting married merges a lot of things, he/she may become better or become worse and if he’s doing something you don’t like and you feel when you get married he’ll change? Am sorry to burst your bubble, he wont, things might just get worse than it is.

I want to ask a question, whats the ideal age for a guy to get married and ideal age for a lady as well, from your own point of view.

 

Keep Reppin’

‘Deolu Bubbles

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About 'Deolu Oniranu-Bubble

The greatest thing since sliced bread....

21 responses to “Guys + Marriage”

  1. phantompages says :

    I’d say marry whenever you feel you’ve found someone you’re compatible with, age be damned. People rush into things (especially girls) because of the ‘age limit’ and that’s just sad really. I’m scared of marrying the wrong person as well! I’d rather stay a spinster than get tied down to an oaf of a man. My peace of mind is very important to me! lol

  2. Wana says :

    I am never getting married. 😀

  3. Kemmiiii says :

    God knows I’m not itching to get married.

  4. 'Deolu Bubbles says :

    @wana : smh…..tu-face broda…..lolllz
    @phantompages : I agree with you, age shouldn’t be a trigger but then dont forget menopause for ladies

  5. kunlexy301 says :

    Marriage, marriage, marriage i’v neva given it a serious thought tho but aving kids outta wedlock has been a recurring thought in my mind. aving a permanent woman is something i don’t think i can stand

  6. yemijohnson says :

    u get married when u re legal 😐

  7. Mexzie J Umenwoke II says :

    Its quite funny reading all this post. Deolu got most things right though. Marriage is an institution ordained by GOD, disregard for it is an automatic disregard for GOD’s arrangement. It hides u away from frivolities, saves u cash. For single guys, i will say its immaturity that leads them to look down on marriage, am a guy and i understand the importance. I always advocate early marriage, u will enjoy it more than marrying late, for one the energy is their, u are shielded from wayward lifestyles, u are more focused generally, take for instance Bil Gates, he married early and left off the ‘singles lifestyle’, so did most very wealthy men.Frivolities come with waste and risk. More importantly, guys too experience a problem with aging, as a Biologist i know that there are syndromes associated with aged husbands giving birth to abnormal kids just as its with the case with older ladies given birth to babies that have Down Syndrome, this is because the sperm count in older guys is lower than in younger oner and so their kids will be of lower immunity compared to that of younger ones. Additionally, its at old age that everyone will know the level of harm that has been caused. Wouldnt u want to have kids that are willing and able to take care of u when u hit 50 than for u to still be huslte and catering for teenagers? Its even more better to have grand kids at 55, that is a blessing, but most guys dont see this until late in their lives. I for one am 24 adnd i hope to get married to the lady of my dreams when u get to 27 or 28 atmost, we have been friends for 3yrs now very close, had ups and downs but still remain close friends. Guys and ladies no one is perfect just as you are not perfect everyone has their ups and downs, just develop a friendship with one that meets ur basic requirements and the rest will be built with time. Lastly i dont advocate sleeping around by both parties, its called FORNICATION an offense punishable by death by GOD and FORNICATORS the bible says will never inherit GOD’s kingdom, yes i have never and will never engage in such, and no lady should engage in such thinking that would hook the guy, that is so lame,. That which you is your most prized possession, put everything to prayer to GOD and have faith. The best thing to do as my mum alwasy says is to marry ur best friend, ur padi cos its alot sweeter and easier, you understand yourselves better than some random, no forming whatsoever. And yes the Deolu was right the best people to meet are your parents, ur Mother to be precise for both guys and Ladies she wil tell you 80% of the things u need to know…

  8. @bossikeh says :

    Mexzie, was that another post or a comment??

  9. tunde says :

    Marriage is a wonderful thing but it is sometimes over rated. These days, people just get married because ” oh my friend is also married” or gosh i am running out of time..

    most times when u get married u feel cool and good but trust me, staying in a marriage and making it work is the most difficult part.. the real character(negative character most times) comes out and then u start asking yourself questions about your choice.
    The temptations and dirty desires now come out in full force, when u get married is when you see more beautiful women than ur wife, thats when the guys out there will start treating u better than ur husband.. and u feel like “i have made the wrong choice”.

    Marriage is a school u can never graduate from, no holidays… constant learning.. and above all patience.

    For guys, eyin guys… hmmm marriage na like football, when u sign for a club its a happy moment but as the season progresses and the things are not going your way, u will feel like putting in a transfer request but when u leave your present club are u sure of what u will get in the next one?? Example Hleb left arsenal for barca… d rest is history

    And ladies, before u got married, u werent checking his phone, or asking for his facebook password but after marriage u nw changed; when hes sleeping u will pick up his BB and start going thru his contacts and chats, call records, asking for his paswords, u wont want him to hangout with his friends anymore to watch football… Kilode? ogini?

    All in all… think deeply about marriage before u step in.. can u stand this guy or girl for the next 20 – 30 years at least… if not dont do it

    I am not an advocate for divorce but IF the marriage isnt working well dont be afraid to take the huge step of walking away rather than being in an unhappy scenario.

    • Laura says :

      Whatever happened to working things out, making things work? It’s a choice I guess… DIVORCE is never an option hence the reason why it’s important to marry for the right reasons

      • 'Deolu Bubbles says :

        @Laura i totally agree with you, but what do you do when you’re already in a wrong marriage. When i say wrong, i mean the wrongest, probably feels like you were both drunk when you got married, what do you do then?

    • tunde says :

      yea i agree with both of you but how many people this days have the wisdom and patience to “work things out or make things work”?
      This days pple marry cause their peers are getting married or the y feel time is against them… and they end up regretting it

      • Laura says :

        lts so sad to think ppl waste money cos there peers are getting married.
        I have learnt not to get so engrossed in the i wanna get married trap, and ignore what a jerk and looser a guy is.

      • Laura says :

        @ Deolu If u in a wrong marriage u will have to pay the price! Unless the other party has committed adultery and he is beating you. Then u have to face the music. I am sure alarm bells were ringing, before u chose to tie the knot out of ifnorance

      • 'Deolu Bubbles says :

        @Laura: whats the music to be faced? A lifelong sad & depressing marriage or just simply Divorce the person?

        We all hear the warning bells and some of us refuse to listen.

        What do you do after you’ve realized its the wrong marriage?

      • Laura says :

        haha @deolu sad depressing marriage ? We have to agree to disagree… Divorce is not an option. Counselling ?

    • 'Deolu Bubbles says :

      @Laura : I feel at a point, divorce should be an option, if divorce isnt an option, how about suicide, what if it gets to the point where neither party cant go forward anymore, making it so depressing and suicidal.

      What do you do then?

  10. Laura says :

    Love this post n make up sex.. Just a few things! If I were Ur daughter or fiancé n I told u I’d slept with every guy I have dated, oral sex n stuff.. Automatically labelled the hoe. This pregnant b4 marriage stuff, I have always said I don’t want any man to feel obliged to marry cos I got preggars, but ern one day I was peeping over someone’s newspaper on the train and the headline read “all these happy smiles ended in tears” I wondered why but it had photos of about 25 women preggars and one who got married whilst pregnant. They had one thing in common they all miscarried! Lost the babies so to say u’ll marry only a babe bcos she got preggars is ignorant, do u get divorced bcos she lost the baby? Food for thought . Heard story bout a babe got preggars they picked date the full works, then she had d baby b4 d wedding n d baby died so the wedding was called off bcos it turned out the guys parents didn’t like the babe and the part of Nigeria she was from, they agreed to the wedding bcos she got pregnant! It’s a crazy old world if you ask me

    So ppl need to seek the real reason God designed marriage n stop being selfish

  11. 'Deolu Bubbles says :

    @Laura: Most ladies dont sleep with every guy they’ve dated, am very sure about that, but then again, some others even sleep with much more men than they’ve dated, am not witch-hurting anyone here….

    On the issue of Pregnancy before marriage, its not a marriage out of pity, its marriage out of its time to settle out and start a family for me, i wrote earlier that the pregnancy stuff is the indicator for some guys to get married not necessarily out of pity.

    In the case of the story of the marriage that was cancelled after the girl had a miscarriage, i would like to believe thats a strategic move.

    Most people this days who want to marry but their partner is from some place they are not supposed to marry from do this, they get pregnant and then force their families to consent to the marriage, so your friend’s own is purely strategic, however, the plan dint pull through with the miscarriage.

    My posts are not to offend but to discuss this issues we face in our daily life.

    A very weird world that labels a guy who has slept with a lot of women as a hero while a lady who has slept with a lot of guys, a hoe or any other derogatory word for prostitute.

    • Laura says :

      lol not offended in anyway shape or form! Just discussing with you! However u n I both know that one day , one day the guy will say “I only married you bcos you were pregnant” that be not the case in my book… Evil LOL

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