17 Awosika : Pilot

I am not a big fan of 9 to 5 work, so i made some kind of arrangement for myself, i sell laptops, do office supplies, sell phones, all this is just to keep me busy, most of my main cash come from blackmailing my father 🙂

As for me, I got into this house like a year ago, my folks are well to do but as a good for nothing boy that I am, as soon as I finished serving in delta state, early 2010. I dint want to have anything to do with my folks anymore asides collecting money from them , I opted to stay with my big brother Seye, he’s a security expert, as I.T security o, not S.S.S o, he’s a confirmed big boy, he was using a the lastest Range Rover sport, but he’s relocating  abroad for reasons I dint think were substantial enough, this mofo of my bro earns  in dollars and it pays very well, he would actually earn a lil bit higher than he earns in Nigeria but he has made up his mind to leave sha, as a great manipulator that I am, he was putting every thing in his house for sale, I ran to my father to help me talk to his son to leave everything so I can continue to use his properties, so anytime he comes into the country, he can stay in the place rather than go to a hotel, meanwhile I dint mean the whole having somewhere to stay.

My father blatantly said “No, Bukunmi! Your brother worked his way up, he didn’t need my help and you know my policy! You must gather your own properties through your sweat, Get out of my sight, lazy boy”

Why is this man para-ing for me nah, must we all suffer? even Goodluck said he didn’t have shoes as a child, abegi, all that na story, now nko, isn’t he riding around with entourage, i no wan hear am jo, I quite understand that he had to go to school in tattered clothes, but times are different now, there is no use going to my mother, she will redirect me back to this man again, they both have this intercom in their head, that they use in communicating…… If all else fails, Blackmail will not. 😀

I always wonder why my father can be so difficult abt this ‘small’ issue sef…ahan…. Does he have more than 2 children, me and my brother???

Well, I no too trust this man, **light bulb** come to think of it, I saw this man receiving a head at Ikoyi club na, why am I dulling sef, Seye’s properties must be mine at least the house with the furnitures *evil grin*

I went back to meet him where he was watching his tennis match, the man no no say him don old, he still plays tennis, for me, am fit, I love running commentary as usual during sports. He’s already commending “This Djokovich guy is a natural winner”

I replied “Daddy, I need to speak with you”

He replied “I have a feeling I shouldn’t listen to you, the devil is speaking through you today and as a Deacon in church, I should ask you to flee away from me.”

I replied “Why won’t you listen to your own son, your last born for that matter, all this you’ve built, isn’t it for us to continue your legacy”

He screams “Bukunmi, am adjusting my will, as soon as I die, you should be given N10M, thats all, your brother will lead the company, however, if you succeed in killing your brother, the company will go public, the company will pay you salary, no director benefit for you! because I have a feeling, you will singlehandedly wreck my company and everything I have worked for all these years, all the legal work has been done”

I replied ” Daddy, calm down na, I know u’re joking, I can forward your resume to Zeb Ejiro or Lancelot Imasuen or even Emem Isong,  so they can give you a role as husband  to Patience Ozorkwo, una fit each other, laughing”

He smiles ” Okay, what’s the problem, and for the sake of God, let it not be that you’re trying to inherit Seye alive because I will tell him, so he can alert the appropriate authorities,SSS, FBI, CIA, MOSSAD, AL-QEADA, EFCC,  we might have an incoming murder case”

I replied “Daddy now! Okay, I wanted to play nice but you don’t, do u remember at Ikoyi club, like 6 weeks ago, that you and Chief Are were having a meeting in that coded room, I saw you and that girl **winks**, she was sucking your dick under the table, you and chief Are were having a meeting while girls were sucking your dick under the table, how do you old people manage that sef, she’s my mate you know”

He leans forward from the chair, getting angry and whispering  “Bukunmi, how did you find out, plus it was Chief Are that organized the girls, everything was his idea, everything ungodly”

I cut him short “Daddy, am not interested in knowing how the girls got there, mummy will hear all these your escapades and I will be sure to include that unilag girl that keeps coming to your office at unholy hours”

He cuts in “Bukunmi, shattap! She isn’t ur mate, she is 26 and you’re 25, I will talk to Seye, but it’s still with him to make up his mind, I should do a DNA test to find out if you’re truly mine”
I replied “Thanks Dad, your secret is safe with me, one more request”

He cuts in “Bukunmi, you’re still not done blackmailing your father? What has this world turn into? ”

“Daddy, I want to change my car, I can sell this one for 700k, but I need like another 800 to 900 to buy the new one.”

He cuts in “Bukunmi, shey I should have sent you abroad,now I have to pay for everything, get a regular job like your brother and stop been a parasite”

I replied ” Daddy!!!!! Mummy doesn’t have to know o, whatever happens at Ikoyi club stays there :D”

He replied “Okay, I can give u 800k next week”

Lastly Daddy, you need to stop calling me Bukunmi and switch to BK like everyone else.

He screamed “Is that all? Get out!!!”

I proceeded to my way out, speaking to myself ; BK! Blady blackmailer, it worked sha, now to go pleadingly to Seye abt his car, that Seye guy no go gree. Good thing I bargained a new car or atlas tokunbo with daddy.

This friday definitely is looking fantastic, its 6:30, lemme call this mofo Niran, (Niran is my good friend, we met in the university) let’s know what’s going down tonight and where.

Phone rings

Niran : hello, madman

BK : Baboon, how u dey? How na, wetin dey happen today? Those lag babes that wanted us to take them out nko, na you get their controls na.

Niran: Ogbeni, I no no jare, plus say I no get money and dose girls dey look for who go pop champagne for them, dem fit go plenty, na like 6 girls o!

BK: 6 girls ke???? Na orgy we wan do? na just friday nite make we all jolly na, simple, no anyting mega jo, buh my own car go carry 3 depending on their size.

Niran : I know jo, but ur car suppose fit carry 4 girls for back na, ur car na maxima na, e dey spacious die

BK : You join money with me when I wan buy the car? You don take your drugs this evening so, bloody idiot…..lolllz, u wan spoil my shocks???

Niran: You be fool o, instead make u just talk say your shocks no good, u com dey insult your guy! Ask Seye for hin car na?

BK: Seye will rather sit on a hot coal the whole night than gimme his Range to take out, knowing fully well that we’re going clubbing and we go high come house!

Niran : Sha lemme know what ever happens by 9pm, how abt sharon na, Seye’s gf, saw her at rehab last friday. Am I still moving in with you when Seye travels?

BK: We will talk later about the accomodation thing, if you wan do Aproko, call me! Ehn, no use my credit do am, moreover she was there with Seye, bloody home wrecker! Get out of my phone jo…lolllz later bruv! Cheers

Now the problem is borrowing Seye’s car tonight and asking him to leave his properties for me when he’s about to move abroad which is lesser than a month away.

Heading back to Seye’s house, I just hope Sharon isn’t with him yet.

Kemi is about to close but then her line manager calls her that a customer is having issues with his account, so she needs to come downstairs to talk to the man, Mr. Uzoma is a new generation igbo man, good-looking, probably 6ft 2 tall, light atlethic build, very charming. Kemi was staring at his lips when her subconscious woke her up that she is married, as Kemi was listening to Uzo, she found herself, hiding her  hand with the wedding band, this was the first time,she was feeling strange when talking to a man, she was lost in thought when Uzo tapped her by the hand, she jumped out of her thought but managed to say “Oh yes, Mr Uzor, Let me get on that for you”.

Kemi is sensing trouble as it seems Uzor is also flirting silently with her, her subconscious kept screaming “Martins will kill you” while she licks her lips in front of Uzo and heads down the hall.


15 responses to “17 Awosika : Pilot”

  1. afrosays says :

    I don’t know what this is but it’s silly and I like it.

  2. kunlexy301 says :

    abrupt ending…but it’s interesting can’t wait nxt part but wat’s going to happen to d ds series

  3. raihanah says :

    alarms ringing o… my middle name is Bukunmi and my frnds call me BK…. ok..:( to think i used to brag abt the rarity of my name..

    cool story… where does Kemi fit into the whole seye-bukunmi brouhaha..

  4. kinaore says :

    Gud one

  5. @bule_jr says :

    Stupidly good read. Very stupid.

  6. ruky says :

    like d one b4 me…..silly….lovvit!!!

  7. Adaora says :

    i’m utterly confused by this. the story seems good but the writing needs some work like punctuations and stuff, and the transitions are abrupt.

  8. Ekwe says :

    i would have volunteered to actually do ya editing if not that i am not sure i will always have time to do it and send it immediately. i like the simplicity of the story, but the writing and all needs a whole lot of work. a whole lot. cheers bruv.

  9. @demmylee says :

    This is so hillarious! Laughed all through. I know a couple of Bukunmis!

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